It seems like a lifetime ago when i heard your precious giggles and saw you running around. You were so perfect, so happy, so full of life. The very first time you went outside to really play it took you two weeks before you would leave the porch and step on the ground. You would hold the railing and sit down. You didn't want to go outside. How your baby eyes sparkled with the wonder of childhhod. You had a green tricycle, a wagon, a rock and roll trike, a car for the driveway. Your mother would push you round and round on these different toys in the driveway.I would sit on the ledge and blow bubbles so you could see them as you drove through them , you would reach for them and watch them. You held crayons in your hands. You never wanted to stop. The only way you would get off the bikes would be if your mother pushed you past the driveway line. Then you wanted off and would go on a different bike or in the back yard.
You would begin to run across the yard to the neighbours tp pick pebbles. You loved pebbles and little rocks. You would hold them tightly in your hands. You began to go for little walks. You would go up and down the street in your stroller. You liked to go to the school, you liked to go into the daycare area. You never wanted to leave.Your mother would carry you and i would hold the phone so you could watch videos coming home. Then afterwards you had your ipod. You would go for walks down the street to the crab apple tree.Y ou would fill your pockets and your mother's purse with little red apples. You would kneel beside me in the driveway and count out ten apples and put them all in a row. You loved doing that. I made sure you went outside to play every time the weather was good. You always wore a hat and a long sleeved shirt and sweater or jacket. You never wore shorts or a short sleeved shirt. You would play in the sandbox. a tugboat inbetween the houses. You loved sand. You jumped on the big trampoline. I would sing pop goes the popcorn and your mother would run around you while you were sitting down and you would laugh as you bounced up and down. You would hold her hands and jump. The next year when the trampoline was up you didn't really like it as the opening was in a different place and you always liked everything the same.
There was a green turtle sandbox on the deck in the back yard. You would sit in it and try and eat the sand and throw it up in the air over your head. Beside it was a winnie the pooh house with a door, you loved opening that door. We would sit on the swing beside you. I loved to watch you play, you are so beautiful my angel boy. You loved to go down the slides of the play structures, to open and close your castle door,. You loved to sit on the glider with your mother and go back and forth,I would sit on the tree house stairs and wave to you and talk to you. You would play in your tree house, it had a sand table, a wooden fridge,plastic sink, washer and dryer and a chair and toys, everything a little boy could want to play. You would play in the leaves and sit in the clover patch, blow bubbles. Then you would come inside, your mother would change you and i would push you in your green car and give you your milk and crackers and whatever you would eat.We had to put a large blackboard in front of the door as at that point you wanted to go out. Everything i did my sweet boy was for you. How i miss your laughter, your absolute joy at discovering your world. How i loved to watch you play. I remember everything and i cry and my soul screams to God.
Summer 2013:
You were only out twice before you passed away< You didn't want to go outside. But you did. I think you did it to make me happy. I didn't know everything inside of you was so wrong and it was hard for you. You only rode your bike once around the driveway, you didn't want o, you seemed out of breath. You were breathing heavy. This was all mentioned to the drs. but nothing was done.You played in the sandbox, we took pictures. You went on the trampoline for a few minutes, you walked around,you went on the glider and into the treehouse. We went for a walk. you wanted me to go too. WE all held hands and walked towards the school, your mother carried you back.You went out one more time, you didn't want to go out, i understand now you were too tired i didn't then and you couldn't tell me and i am so sorry for not knowing for not being able to fix everything.We tried to get medical treatment, you saw the dr. Your mother was on the phone constantly with drs trying to get you in. We knew something was wrong, but you weren't sick, I gave you fresh bottles on the hour day and night You never held your bottle, you would hold your ipod, six plastic circles and your soothers. I always held your bottle, always talked to you about everything. You always listened. You would say gramma. I love you angel baby and miss you little face more than words can tell. I am so sorry pusskin that you atren't here with me. Where are yoiu little one? Is God taking care of you now? I want you in my arms and you aren't here, i want to see you grow and play but there is nothing now but empty spaces. I love you baby angel..my heart is broken, i am broken for my angel baby is not here.
You would begin to run across the yard to the neighbours tp pick pebbles. You loved pebbles and little rocks. You would hold them tightly in your hands. You began to go for little walks. You would go up and down the street in your stroller. You liked to go to the school, you liked to go into the daycare area. You never wanted to leave.Your mother would carry you and i would hold the phone so you could watch videos coming home. Then afterwards you had your ipod. You would go for walks down the street to the crab apple tree.Y ou would fill your pockets and your mother's purse with little red apples. You would kneel beside me in the driveway and count out ten apples and put them all in a row. You loved doing that. I made sure you went outside to play every time the weather was good. You always wore a hat and a long sleeved shirt and sweater or jacket. You never wore shorts or a short sleeved shirt. You would play in the sandbox. a tugboat inbetween the houses. You loved sand. You jumped on the big trampoline. I would sing pop goes the popcorn and your mother would run around you while you were sitting down and you would laugh as you bounced up and down. You would hold her hands and jump. The next year when the trampoline was up you didn't really like it as the opening was in a different place and you always liked everything the same.
There was a green turtle sandbox on the deck in the back yard. You would sit in it and try and eat the sand and throw it up in the air over your head. Beside it was a winnie the pooh house with a door, you loved opening that door. We would sit on the swing beside you. I loved to watch you play, you are so beautiful my angel boy. You loved to go down the slides of the play structures, to open and close your castle door,. You loved to sit on the glider with your mother and go back and forth,I would sit on the tree house stairs and wave to you and talk to you. You would play in your tree house, it had a sand table, a wooden fridge,plastic sink, washer and dryer and a chair and toys, everything a little boy could want to play. You would play in the leaves and sit in the clover patch, blow bubbles. Then you would come inside, your mother would change you and i would push you in your green car and give you your milk and crackers and whatever you would eat.We had to put a large blackboard in front of the door as at that point you wanted to go out. Everything i did my sweet boy was for you. How i miss your laughter, your absolute joy at discovering your world. How i loved to watch you play. I remember everything and i cry and my soul screams to God.
Summer 2013:
You were only out twice before you passed away< You didn't want to go outside. But you did. I think you did it to make me happy. I didn't know everything inside of you was so wrong and it was hard for you. You only rode your bike once around the driveway, you didn't want o, you seemed out of breath. You were breathing heavy. This was all mentioned to the drs. but nothing was done.You played in the sandbox, we took pictures. You went on the trampoline for a few minutes, you walked around,you went on the glider and into the treehouse. We went for a walk. you wanted me to go too. WE all held hands and walked towards the school, your mother carried you back.You went out one more time, you didn't want to go out, i understand now you were too tired i didn't then and you couldn't tell me and i am so sorry for not knowing for not being able to fix everything.We tried to get medical treatment, you saw the dr. Your mother was on the phone constantly with drs trying to get you in. We knew something was wrong, but you weren't sick, I gave you fresh bottles on the hour day and night You never held your bottle, you would hold your ipod, six plastic circles and your soothers. I always held your bottle, always talked to you about everything. You always listened. You would say gramma. I love you angel baby and miss you little face more than words can tell. I am so sorry pusskin that you atren't here with me. Where are yoiu little one? Is God taking care of you now? I want you in my arms and you aren't here, i want to see you grow and play but there is nothing now but empty spaces. I love you baby angel..my heart is broken, i am broken for my angel baby is not here.