February 20 2023: precious angel. Ap
april 18;2021: precious angel: I miss you all the time, more so every day, This is real after almost 8 years but it feels like yesterday. YOur smiles, your laughter yr hand in mine ine, Your picturessmile at me. I look for you. I listen for your voice when i hear children, But i don't hear you, I hear you in my memories, I see you there i reach for you. Little one my heart i long for you. I love you sweetheart always forever my little cuddlebum.
May 9/2021: Precious angel: THese pages are somewhat mixed up. It was mothers day today. You weren't here to give sara a mothers day card or to give us a hug, I miss you all the time, I listen for you when i hear kids. Look for you but you aren't here any more. Memories flood my heart and i hold on tight for being with you was such a miracle, you were a miracle and you filled my life and heart with so much love. Now ter eis darkness. Memories bring light but you are not in my arms or looking at me, You aren't here and my heart cries and fills with tears, I love yoou so much little one.
May 24.2021: Precious angel: I miss you all the time, U are supposed to be here and u aren't. I dont see you beautiful face: i don't hear your voice; ur laughter; ur giggles. There is only silence where you should be. How wrong this all is, Every morning i pray God would bring you back or turn back the time, I pray that you are loved and happy in heaven; that Jesus holds you> Thast you remember my love and saras. That God tells you how much i miss and love you. You will always be my heart and soul. I love you so much little one. 
june6;2021:Precious angel;. I look for yu eveywhere and can only find you in my heart, my memories as they become alive inside of me, I miss you so v ery much, I hope you can feel my love in heaven for it is ever present reaching for you. The days go by but they are filled with saddness and an empty placem where you are supossed to be but you aren't here, How awful it must of been for you to leave me but i know you are 3with God and He will keep you safe for me so i can be with you again, But i need you here. My heary cries all the time for you. I reach for you. and you aren't here, MY beautiful, precious little love i love you and miss you always.
June8;2021: precious angel: I love you so much, I don't understand how this time it just goes by and you are missing, it should of stopped when you did, Everything remains but it is changed, Not real, You are my heart and soul little one. I miss you all the time, The tears are forever till i see your beautiful face agin, I love you.
June 24;2021: Precious angel: it has been eight and a half years today since yiou have been gone, We are going to your spot today. Hopefully we can release your lanterns, it is windy today. I hope God will open a window in heaven for you again, I miss you all the time, I love you so much little one. How wrong this all is, I look for you, I listen when i hear children, Maybe i will hear you, I know you aren't here ut all thinga atre possible with God, I ask Him daily to bring you back to me. I love you my little cuddlebum forever,

JUly 24:2021:Precious angel: MY little love my heart is missing you. I can't contain the tears. This doesn't let me write more than a little bit. I miss you so much. This is so wrong i don''t have any words just my heart crying always for you., I will be you at some point God willing for you are my everything and this hurting never stops as i long for you. I love you my sweet angel.
August 2/2021: Precious angel: i am missing you so very much, My heart is hurting, it never stops. How it longs for you. I found one of your little yikes people in the yard. Where it came from afr
​ter all this time i don't know. I held it and put it in my pocket. I see you in my memories and try and touch you but icant. I miss you all the time, Love you my sweet little love.
August 2/2021, Precious angel. This does not let me write as i would like so will try this way. My herat has words that i don't have time to wrtite before it refreshes and my words to you are gone. The days go by but you aren't here and they just slide by. YTou know you were my everything so close my sweet boy. I can't go back in time, God hasnt brougght you back though i have asked and pleaded each day for the past 8 years, I love you so my little cuddlebum,
​August 5/2021: Precious angel: Sylena.sara and i went to your spot, We brougght flowers and solar lights, bubbles and spinners and a little tikes person. Everything looked very pretty. But nothing will ever be good. You aren't here, You loved daisies. You loved everything. It was an adventure in your own place, I miss you so much little one. Love you till past the end of time eternity
September 2/2021: I seem to be losing some of the things i have written. Precious angel: I miss you always all the time, I pray every morning for you for you to be loved and happy in heaven for God to turn back the time to bring you back to me, I love you so very much my little cuddlebum, I don't kow where this time has gonr, But i stopped living when you left, I do what i need to do but you aren't here You were my life, My everything my precious little love, I miss you all the time, I se eyou in my mind and heart. I lovre you little one.
September2/2021;Precious angel: Sylena. sara and i went to ur spot, We brought a large pot os fall flowers and a jar solar light, Your roses are blooming, I miss you all the time. This is ao wrong, Are you being held by Jesus? I pray each day that He holds you and that you are loved and happy. I love you so much sweet boy.
September 29;2021: Precious angel, You loved this time of the year with the leaves falling, U would go under ur swing and scoop up the leaves and put them on the swing seat and throw them up in the air, I miss you all the time, Everything plays over and over again in my head like a video. But then it stops there isn't any more and i am lost. There's nothing i can do, I have prayed and prayed each day for God to bring you back to turn back the time, i have prayed for faith, I know my God can do all things but you aren't here, MY beautiful little love, You are my heart, soul all of me was wrapped in you and you in me, I love youlittle one.My heart cries.
October 6/2021: Precious angel: i miss you all the time, I see you on your swings in the back;playing in the sand: in the playhouse: throwing leaves in the air. How you loved to do that. I am so very sorry you are not here, Not a day goes by that i don't pray and ask God to bring yu back,MY God can do anything But He hasn't brought you back as yet, He can do all things but you aren't here. My heart never stops crying, You are my evrything. My sweet boy my little cuddlebum.
November12;2021: Precious angel: I don't have the words. My heart if forever broken it can't be fixed. I miss you all the time, I hope you are aware of that in heaven. Know that my heart reaches for you each ay. You are alive in my heart but my arms are empty. The tears never stop. They continue their forever flow within my heart, There run my heart is full. I love you so much. You always will be my little love. The love of my life. MY cuddlebum. My angel> My everything.I love you little one forever.
December 1;2021: Precious angel: Tomorrow is your birthday. You would be 13, A big boy: a teenager. You are supossed to be here with me, with us, But you aren't. My heart cries for you all the time, It never stops and there is nothing i can do, I ask God each day to bring you back to turn back the time, But so far He hasn't. I miss you all the time, Wonder about all this time that has passed and it is like yesterday to me, You were in my arms and then you weren't anymore. This is all wrong little one, I love you always,
December2/2021: Precious angel: Happy Birthday< You are 13 now. Sylens, jody. sara, josh  and i went to your spot. We brought a christmas decoration plant with ribbons abd tree boughs, A kinder egg puppy. thomas train, snowglobe that plays christmas music, a spinner with snow inside with coloured lights and christmas bulbs, And of course a birthday foil balloon and some balloons to let loose into the sky, It rained on the way there and back, But i prayed many times for God to stop the rain and He did. It didn't rain at the cemetery while we were there. The sun tried to peek out. How wonderful it would be if you were here my sweet boy but you aren't. I miss you all the time and reach for you. But you aren't here. I wonder if God let you see? I wonder if God tells you how much i love you and miss you all the time. I ask Him too. I love you sweetpuss with all of my being forever little one.
December 24th 2021: Precious angel: I am missing you s much, You and me we would be together while everyone else went out, You didn't want to go anywhere. U wanted to stay here with me, We would watch tv. I would push you in your car back and forth in front of the tv, Offer you your bottle and snacks, You would have litle laughs and lots of smiles and beautiful hugs, How i mis syou little one, My heart is completly broken, It can never be fixed.Dec. 24 2021. This does not let me write for long so will try this way. I wonder what you are doing in heaven right now? For i know you are with Jesus on His birthday,  I wonder if God remembers your birthday, My heart cries for you all the time, This is so wrong, There are  forever tears that have no place to go, The rivers flow endlessly, I love you so, Does anyone call you angel baby baby angel cuddlebum? Do you ememeber? I ask God to bring you back each day too turn back the time but so far He hasn't but He is able to, I ask Jesus to hold you and love you like He did the little children when He was here, My sweet love i miss you all the time, I am so sorry you aren't here where you were meant to be in my arms, I love you little one.
​January 30.2022: Precious angel: I miss ypu all the time, Each day i ask God to turn back the time to bring you back. MY arms are so empty, I need you in them , I miss you all the time, How wonderful life would be if you were here, You will always be my everything , my little love, my cuddlebum. I love you little one.
February 17;2022:Precious angel: I don't have any words left. I miss you constantly. Look at your pictures on the walls and touch them, It seems you are smiling at me but i can't feel your face your hands or you in my arms, The time goes y ut the tears never end or will they in this world for you are not here and my life cries for you. My little cuddlebum, Does anyone i heaven call you  that my sweet little one, I love you always and forever.
March 15;2022: Precious angel: I miss you all the time. I just don't have the words. I can't bring you back, I ask God each day and i wait but you are not here. Missing is forever. Loving you is forever but it wasn't enough to keep you here. I am so sorry little one for you will always be my everything but i can't change anything. I love you so much. My heart is crying for you wanting you, I love you swet bay always forever you are my heart.
March 27;2022:Precious Angel: My heart is crying so much for you. I miss you. U always wanted to be with me, As i wanted to always be with you. But this always is only me now and the tears never stop. TimTime doesn't stop . It keeps going. But you are not here in my arms, beside me, with me and the emptiness abounds and fills over and over and the tears keep comng with no where to go. I love you little one, You are my heart, my everything alwways and forever my love.
April 18; Precious angel: I am missing u so very much, For the first time i saw children blowing bubbles and my heart keeps crying. My little one. How you loved watching the bubbles. The second last time we were ourside before you left i blew you bubble sin between the houses and you were facinated with one of them, You were just starting to notice so much more. I have that picture and i just m,iss you so much. This is all so wrong. I love you little angel, You are meant to be here but you aren't. I am so very sorry you aren't here. So many things you never got to do, I pray God lets you remember how very very muvh i love you, My little cuddlebum Baby angel.
April 30;2022: Precious angel: Sylena,sara and I went to your spot. We brought solar flowers, solar fairy lights and a very big windmill that started spinning in the wind. How you would have loved these things< I hope God will give you a peek from heaven, Always in my heart little one. I mis s you all the time. This time that has gone by is as if nothing, I listen for your voice, I look for you and i can only find you in my heart, I love you so much my little angel, Forever,Always eternity,
May 26;2022: Preciious angel: I don't have any more words. There is just an empty space. Tears always run in my heart. I think of you all the time. I look at a series of same pictures every night since you left.  You are not in my arms. Not with me. I know you are with Jesus. God wanted you back, I miss you and love you all the time. My little cuddlebum.
May 30:2022: Precious angel: I tried to watch the video of before you were born,  it only had a little bit on here, Even then i couldn't watch it. I miss you so very much, I do not like this life without you, Time only moves forward, I don't know how to go back in time. I can't change anything. I love yuou so much. You are my everything, 
June  24;2022: Precious angel" all of uys went to your spot today: Me, sara, sylena, jody josh, jenny.gerry : David: WE brought some stepping stones, flowera balloons and several smaller items. pez some things you would have liked. I miss you so much, How very wrong this is. U are suppossed to be here but you arent. This is never ending nothingness without you, I love you so much. 
JUly12;2022; Precious angel: I miss you so much. i miss everything. I am always crying inside with no place for my tears. But it doesnt change anything. I love you so much, I look for you, Nothing gets easier. The time just goes by. But you, my little love aren't here, The yard is empty. Not a sound of a little boy. My boy. No playing. Just birds chipmunks squirrels, Everythung is gone. I love you so much. I hope God is good to you, I love you my precious little angel.
July 29; 2022Precious angel: I am not going to be writing much more. You sre always forever in my heart, In me with me alive in me, I miss you and love you mre than words can say. Everlasting to everlasting, Missing you tears me apart. How quickly the time goes. My heart and soul and all of me are yours and you are mine foreverAugust 16;2022: Precious angel> I am missing you all the time. i see you inmy heart mind always. Everywhere, In the morning when i pray for you i see you sitting on my bed. You would wait till i got my contacts on and you wuld lift your arms up for me to take you off of the bed. Yu would put your soothers etc in your treasure box. That box sits in my headboard, Your blankets are in my headboard with your little boy smell. Your favorite clothes, They are on my dresser with soothers and some of your hair. I love you so much and the tears in my heart will never stop. My beautiful angel i love you so much.
September 8/2022: Precious angel. I wasn't sure if i was going to write any more. I cant stand this missing you all the time, I see you sitting on my bed, But you aren;t here only in my heart and the videos of every day that continue in my head. This is so wrong, Are you  in jESUS  arms/ but you aren't in mine.  i cant smell your baby smell or feel you to hold you. You are not beside me. I love you so much. The tears will never stop my sweet boy. Gramma misses you every minute of the day and night. My precious little love.
SEPTEMBER22/2022: pRECIOUS ANGEL: sYlena and i went to your spot today. The roses were all branched out. They had grown a lot.We fixed it all. I think of yuou all the time. There isn't a time when you aren't with me. Always in my heart little one. Brought a plant: a small tree with other suculents around it. We are going back when sylena gets holidays next month. I don't know what happens to time. We live the day and another begins God willing. It's like a book after u read it the page is done. I miss you so much my precious little love, Every morning i pray for you. I thank God for the beautiful time we had together, It wasn;t enough. I love you so much sweetheart. Always forever.
​October 1;2022:Precious angel: The time is going by yet there are forever tears. I think of you all the time. I miss you. You are my heart. My soul.My life. And you are not here. Nobody knows. Life keeps going without caring. The days go by but you aren't here. You aren't in my arms. I cant feel your heart on mine, I love you so much my precious little.
October 28;2022;Precious angle; Sylena. sara and i went to your spot last thursday. Couldn'y get on this site. Sara brought you a beautiful gingerbread boy type ornament with little stones, You would have loved that. Sylena brought stuffies and i brought a plant with flowers and solar lights, It's almost halloween another thing you aren't able to do, So many kids on halloween and not my beautiful boy, I miss you all the time. I pray for you every day little one for love and happineess in heaven, That Jesus holds you and loves you likke He did the children when He was here, I lve you sweet boy with a never ending love.
November 8;2022: Precious angel: I am missing you all the time, Praying for you all the time. It's almost christmas and you aren't here. U have missed 10 christmases. I love you so much and miss you always, My arms are empty. Life goes on it goes forward but how can there be a forward without you. I love you sweet puss.
November 16;2022 Precious angel, I miss you each and every day. My arms are always empty till i see you in heaven. I know you would be so big now, so beauiful. I see you as you were when u left, I know you didn;t want to go. I don't understand why God took you. Why everything was against you. Against all of us. I love you so much little one. I love my God, my Jesus and yet you aren;t here, Another christmas, I miss you sweetheart like crazy, You smile at me every night in your pictures when i talk to you. My beautiful precious little love.
Precious angel: December 2. 2022: Today is ur birthday. You would have been 14, I can't even imagine that. Happy birthday little one. Does God remember your specoial day in heaven? Are the angels singing? Are ytou able to remember how very much you are loved? Always you Child of my heart. How i pain for you each day. WQe are going to your spot shortly. Look down on us. Always remember the joy and love you are and the family that loves you and misses you so very much. There are no words only love, I love you sweetheart my precious little love.
Dec.2;2022:We all went to ur spot. Sylena and jerry. sara. jenny josj jody and me. We brought a pretty christmas plant; christmas solar lights; an elf on the shelf and stuffies, I love you so much. we all miss you. A peice of my heart is missing, I know you are with Jesus but i miss u so much. My precious little one.
December 20;2022; Precious angel: It's almost christmas. I miss you so much, You are supossed to be in my arms always and you arent here. Everything is so wrong, I am here and you are not, We were to be together you and me, The days pass. I think about you all the time, You are in my heart my mind but it's not enough, I am crtying reaching for you, I love you sweetheart so very much.
Jan.6;2023: Precious angel: It's a new year> Another year without you. The time passes, I am so very aware of it, There is no time in heaven, I miss you all the time my little love, my cuddlebum . You were meant to always be in my arms, We used to sing the siameses cat song at the window, You and ne together will be, forever ull see you and me, But it's just me here.I love you so very much little one,my angel baby.
Feb 20,2023: Precious angel. What i wrote last week seems to have disapperared, The time is going by as time tends to do, The tears inside of me will never stop, I miss you allt he time, This is not right, U were meant to be here. To grow up, Ride a 2 wheel bike go to school be forever in my arms together, And i am here but my arms are always empty and i long for you to hold you, I love you so much angel,
March 19;2023: Precioius angel: My writing seems to have jumped, I cant find the place where i left off. Everyone was here today but you weren't. I don't understand this life, I love you beyond all , there is no end no beginning yet it wasn;t enough. i miss u all the time.
April 9 2023: Precious angel< so much time has gone by, The days just blend, My heart will always be broken, Nothing can fix it ever, I love you and miss us o much, There are no words, The days just go by and i am thankful for them. I am thankful for the time i had with u, It wasn't even close to enough, Ther eis empiness, I miss u all the time and nothing can make it better , I love u so very much my precious little angel
May 5/2023: Precius angel. Time is so elusive like it was speed up. The days go by, My heart all of me misses you so very much, I don;t have the words, I love you so much, Miss you always but the time still goes by, It doesnt care how much i always hurt, I love you little one always.
JUNE 8;2023: Precious angel: I am not going to be writing much more, I love you and i miss you with every beat of my heart, My special little one, My cuddlebum, My angel baby. Baby angel. I thank God each day for the time that we had you and me me and you and all of us, How special it was, But way too short. It wasn't enough. You are no longer beside me in bed. In my arms, Rocking, Laughing being you, My sweet angel wait for me with sheqwa, I hope she is running with you. My heart misses you. Misses sheqwa. The tears never will stop, I am overflowing. I love you sweet puss always and foreve little one,

June 25.2023: Precious angel: we all went yesterday to ur spot, Brought flowers; books, balloons toys, Its been ten years, How very long, it has been forever days without you, I know there is no time in heaven but you have been gone forever, My heart has overflowed daily with tears, They have no place to go, U were suppossed to be here, We were all supposed to be together, I miss you so very much my little one.
July25;2023: Precious angel: My little love.  i'm probably not going to be writing very much now, You were the love of my life;my heart my everything and will always be, U took my heart with you when u left, Im so sorry my cuddlebum, You aren;t here . i failed. Every day was just for you. But it wasn;t enough you aren't here and the pain is fresh every day. I know you are with Jesus but you aren't here, I love you little one. My life is forever with yours. I love youb  for all time.